


Wicked Stepmother Tony Stark

by Graceful_Storyteller



Category: Norse Mythology, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Like father like son, M/M, Nari does not approve of his new stepmom, Tony meets Loki's kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:24:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Storyteller/pseuds/Graceful_Storyteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Have you and Father copulated?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Aren’t you a bit young to know about that sort of thing?”</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In which Tony and Nari talk and Tony realises he's just become the kid's wicked stepmother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wicked Stepmother Tony Stark

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt asked for Tony meeting Loki's kids. I've seen quite a few fics with him meeting Loki's monsterous kids but not the sons he had with Sigyn, so here's a fic to give Nari a little love.

“Have you and Father copulated?”

 

Tony stares at the child sitting opposite him. Nari stares back, an expression of boredom on his pale face as his cheek rests on his fist.

 

“Aren’t you a bit young to know about that sort of thing?” Nari sneers and the look forcefully reminds Tony that this is Loki’s son. The engineer huffs and says, “Alright, fine, yeah – Loki and I have slept together.”

 

“And you were able to satisfy him?”

 

Tony doesn’t even try to stop his self-satisfied smirk. “Oh, he was more than just _satisfied_ with my performance.”

 

“I highly doubt that,” Nari replies, casting a disparaging glance over Tony.

 

“If you didn’t look like a cooler version of Harry Potter back when he was still living in that shitty cupboard under the stairs, I’d offer to prove you wrong. But you’re a kid, and paedophilia is so Dark Ages, so I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say such a hurtful thing.”

 

Nari glares, clearly struggling to keep up with his references. “You’re a mortal. You’re puny and fragile and weak. I don’t understand why Father would demean himself by pretending at a relationship with you.”

 

“Didn’t you hear? Getting with a mortal is the in thing to do ever since Thunder Pants hooked up with his sexy astrophysicist.”

 

Nari rolls his eyes. “If you are referring to my uncle then that is an entirely different matter. Their relationship will not last. Not unless the mortal will be satisfied as a concubine, forced to sit silently and watch as an Asgardian woman carries the future heir in her womb, well aware of exactly how the seeds of life were planted within her.”

 

“Well aren’t you just a barrel of sunshine.”

 

The kid shrugs. “If my uncle is to take the throne of Asgard he must marry an Asgardian of good standing; that is the law. Unless he is willing to abandon his family and his duty he will leave the mortal wench when she grows old and no longer amuses him.”

 

“For your sake I hope you never meet Agent Hill. She’d slap that misogynistic crap right out of you, even if you are just a kid.”

 

“She wouldn’t dare lay a hand on a prince of Asgard.”

 

Tony throws his head back and laughs. “Oh kid, you really don’t know anything about Earth women do you?”

 

Nari forces a sneer to hide the fact he is unsettled by Tony’s outburst. “Such arrogance from such lowly creatures.”

 

Tony sighs and glances at his watch. He wishes Loki would hurry back so that he can leave this conversation with the god’s eldest son.   

 

“I’m sorry, am I boring you?”

 

“There’s no need to apologise, I know you can’t help being an uppity brat,” Tony replies with a grin that is all teeth and fake politeness – it’s the grin he often wears when he’s forced to meet with government officials and other assholes he doesn’t have time for.

 

“You would dare-” Nari snarls, sitting up straight and glaring like a champ, only to be interrupted by Tony.

 

“Of course I would dare. I’m Tony Stark – I made dick jokes to your dear dad back when he was murderously crazy and I was wearing no more armour than I am now. I’ve told politicians and spies and generals where they can stick all the bull crap they’re constantly trying to feed me because, for some unknown reason, they think I’m a moron – even though I have about five PhDs. I’m not someone who lets himself be bullied or bossed about by aliens calling themselves gods, so don’t even try it Pipsqueak. If you can’t be civil or, more importantly, _interesting_ then shut up and drink your milkshake until your dad gets back from wherever the hell he’s gone with your brother. Then you can go cry to him about how much of an asshole I’ve been and I can laugh when he tells you that you probably deserved it – because Loki knows me and he knows that the reason most people think I’m an asshole is because I tell them the unadulterated truth and they just can’t handle it. Or do you disagree that that’s what’s happened here?”

 

Nari’s jaw clenches and Tony wants to kick himself because those are definitely tears in the kid’s eyes. He hadn’t meant to make the eleven year old cry – he’d just lost his temper at having to put up with his superior attitude. Damn it, Loki was going to kill him if he came back now and saw his kid bawling.

 

Tony sighs and scrapes a hand through his hair. “You’re just like Loki – he gets upset when I call him on his bullshit too.”

 

“I’m not upset,” Nari denies, discretely rubbing at his eyes.

 

“I thought I just told you that I’m not a moron? I know you’re mad at me, and not just because of that little speech I just gave you. So go on, spill, what have I done to make you hate me before you’d even walked through my front door?”

 

Nari watches him carefully, his eyes still moist with unshed tears. “You’re not like any of the others,” he mutters eventually. “Father has had plenty of lovers over the years, but they’ve only ever been brief affairs. He’d bed them and then leave them and come back home. This time it’s different – he actually seems to care about you. He’s actually willing to leave Asgard and Mother for you.”

 

“Oh,” Tony says as the pieces finally click into place. “So I’m the evil step-mother and you’re Snow White, or Cinderella, or some other fairytale princess.”   

 

“I’m not a princess,” Nari huffs, offended.

 

With great effort Tony ignores all the things he could do with that phrase and instead digs deep for a little empathy. “Look kid, I don’t know the first thing about Asgardian culture so I really don’t know what to say to try and make things better. All I can do is promise that Loki isn’t going to abandon you just because he’s spending more time with me than on Asgard. He cares about you and your brother and he’s not going to trade in his old family for a new one. And if he tries I’ll kick his ass, because absent fathers is one of the issues that really fires me up. I had no idea Loki was still married with kids when we started this thing, and if I had I might have thought twice about getting involved with him. Or not, because I’m a selfish prick like that; but anyway – the point is that I don’t want to be the villain here. I don’t want to be your new mom, because I doubt I have the breasts for it, and I really don’t want kids. However, I do want to make Loki happy, and if that involves spending time with you brats then I’m sure I can come up with a way to deal. I’m convinced I can cure you of that superiority complex like I did Loki, and then we can be grudging acquaintances. In other words, you don’t have to like me and I don’t have to like you, but if we’re going to work out some sort of time-share of your dad then we’re going to have to develop a working relationship. Think you can do that Tiny Tim?”    

 

Narfi stares at him. “How do you not asphyxiate yourself?”

 

Tony grins and leans forward to ruffle the kid’s hair, much to Nari’s annoyance. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Tony studies the boy for a moment before declaring, “Next time you visit we’re going to Disneyland. No kid can hate an adult after they take them to Disneyland.”

 

“I have not heard of this ‘Disneyland’ before. Is it outside of the Nine Realms?” Nari asks with a frown.

 

Tony smirks. “Nope, it’s on Earth. In fact, it’s the happiest place on Earth.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“You will,” Tony assures. “Trust me kid, you and your baby brother are going to love it there.”


End file.
